Seriously? I can walk straight and I will prove it, just not today...

So, as I have said my son will be playing football this year. Last night he had his "evaluations" to see what he can do. Basically, all of the 5-6 year olds get on the field and all of the coaches have their little clip boards in hand and run them through drills to see how they tackle, etc...

We get there a little early, (cause that's how I roll) and let me tell ya'... it was hot as Boo out there. We walked to the other side of the field where there was the only set of bleachers out there, cause I am new at this and didn't think to bring my big butt a chair to sit in. (Which, I was also the only mommy that brought their son in full-on football gear too. Complete with helmet and pads..whatever!)

There was an older group doing their evals at that time, so they told us to hang tight and they would call us when they were ready. So, I sat my happy butt down on the bleachers for a few minutes. It gave my son time to run around like a demon spawn on crack while making all kinds of new "friends".

I just so happened to see a rather large group of youngins' on the opposite side of the field, walking onto the field with all kinds of engery... It could only be my son's group... so I yelled to him, (again, 'cause that's how I roll)that he needed to get his little fanny out there on that field and show 'em what he could do. He didn't see where I was pointing, 'cause that's how HE rolls...but I digress. I had to get up and walk out there on the field with him to take him to his group and when I stood up, I hit my danged pinky toe on my right foot on the stupid bleachers. I kept walking, 'cause this is NOTHING new for me to do, and just looked down at it with the "yup, that hurt but can't stop right now" thought.

When I got back to the bleachers and sat down, I saw it! I had ripped my danged toe nail off and it was hanging by a thread. OUCH! Son-of-a...!!! I called my mom at that point, not that I was hurting that bad and wanted my mommy but because she was to be there at any minute with my nephew for his evals and I wanted a bandaid.

So, football evals done we get home feed the spawn and get them bathed and in the bed and by this time, my foot feels like I could just cut the whole danged thing off and not have another worry. It hurt! I took off the bandaid to look at it and it was already purple and gross. I had not only dismembered my toe nail, but also broke the stupid toe. I swear, you can't take me anywhere.

Now, as stupid as that sounds, I am more peeved that I broke the toe, because I am afraid that I can't wear my kick boo-tay shoes to my high school reunion this Saturday night. But, me thinks that I am just gonna suck it up and wear them anyway... yup, 'cause they are THAT kick boo-tay!!!...and once again- 'cause that's how I roll!

PS- I am thinking of filing a Workman's comp. claim, 'cause technically it was done while working... cause I am a stay at home mommy and I was technically doing mommy duties. I wonder if I will get approved? HMMM, I'll let ya know how that one turns out.

PPS- There had better not be any high school type drama crap Saturday night either! Thank God that Big Daddy keeps some bail money set aside for me!

PPPS- Just warning ya, I WILL cut someone from A**hole to appetite...nah, not really- but I sounded tough... didn't I?

Bless Y'all,
Jamie

I have to say, that I am one happy camper right now. School started back for the kids yesterday and with only one hiccup in the day... I'd say it was so very nice to have the day to myself again.

What's the hiccup you ask? Well, it a funny story actually. I did the good mommy routine of taking my kids to school on their first day and walking them to class. I got home and was looking through my closet to try and piece together a rockin' outfit to wear this weekend to my 15 year high school reunion (UGH 15 years, I am getting old!) and found that I truly didn't have a thing to wear. It doesn't help that I am a stay at home (farmer)mom, so I got the wild hair to go shopping... cause that's how I roll, all flybytheseatofmypants and all... and did I mention that I had my days to myself again! So, off I went. I got to "town" and went store to store until I found something that would work, and really ended up with two outfits. (I should say that I am now known as the old crazy lady that kept them all in stitches in the clothing store and tried on practically everything in there, and only bought a shirt...yeah, the saleslady thought she was going to get a HUGE sale, but In YOUR FACE, I don't operate like that! and, Big Daddy would kill me.) Yes, I did say that I found two outfits, I found a dress and some dress pants to go with said shirt at the...gasp~ Dollar Store! WHAT?

Anywho, So, I rushed home with only about 20 minutes to spare before the crumb snatchers would be getting off the bus. Called my bestie and was talking to her while I waited ever so patiently on the front porch in the Georgia heat for the kids. As we were talking, I noticed that the time kept on ticking away, and yet there weren't any kids. I was getting nervous, but figured that it was the first day of school and all. Maybe there were some new students on the bus and the bus driver was trying to get used to the new route...so I waited, and waited and waited.

Finally, my neighbor pulls up across the street and I yell out to her to ask if she has seen the bus anywhere around. To which she replied...."Honey, it's not time for the bus yet." WHAT? This lady has lost her eva-lovin' mind. Of course it is time for the bus, it's past time actually. The bus dropped the kids off last year promptly at 2:40 and it is pushing 3:15 at this point. So, after a couple of "you're so stupid" type of looks shot her way, she proceeds to tell me...wait for it.... that the school has changed it's hours this year and the kids don't get released from school until 2:55! Because our schools are only going 170 days this year and not the usual 180. Again, WHAT??? When were they going to tell me this?

Still on the phone at this point with the bestie, she suggests that I look it up in the student handbook, so I did. Only to say "I'llbedanged", you mean I get a whole extra hour to myself everyday this year??? Say it ain't so! YEE HAW!!!

I really love our schools this year! And, yes it's because I get a little bit of my sanity back.

Bless y'all,
Jamie

Things that make me want to check myself into the women's prison...

So, It has been a little over 4 months since I last posted. I am guessing that I haven't been too terrible missed, because I only lost 1 follower. But, I guess if you look at it in terms of numbers, I lost 25% of my readers... oh well.

Okay, fine! I was going to list all (or at least some) things that make me want to check myself into the women's prison.... so here goes.

* my son, and all of his tantrums and the way that he literally climbs the walls. I kid not, I found a foot print on the top of his door jam the other day and couldn't for the life of me figure out how it got there until he showed me how he can climb the door jams. UGH!

* My girls and their pre-pubecent ways. I told my husband (aka Big Daddy) that when both of the girls go through puberty that he would have to race me to the door. No way I am getting left here alone with them.

* Trying to go to school online during the summer because the kids are out of school and we can't afford daycare and don't have access to people (friends/family) that can take them during the day... won't be doing this again.

* Cleaning this danged house everday, because the kids don't get the concept of putting stuff away when they are done with it.

* The never-ending pile of laundry... I swear, if one more thing lands in the dirty pile that I just washed and folded... I will snap!

* The broody hen that we have that won't let you collect the eggs, and also pecks the other 2 hens.

* The kids eating and drinking in the living room. I think that should be self explanatory.

* People smack talking Big Daddy behind his back.

* Neighborhood kids that can't get a clue. Seriously... "No, the kids can't play now, just like they couldn't play 15 minutes ago when you asked or the 5 other times you have been here this morning. Get a clue already!"

* Wal-Mart, again- 'nuf said.

* People that make really, really good money and still cry poor mouth. Try living paycheck to paycheck before you come crying to me.

* Stupid drivers.

* My gal bladder


So, that was just the "short list". I could probably go on all day, but again- I have that never ending laundry pile and dirty bedrooms to clean today.

I would say "I promise to blog more", but who am I kidding. I plan on dancing nekkid' in my livingroom on Monday because that's when the kids go back to school... and I WILL CELEBRATE!!!

Bless y'all,

Jamie